Hiyah, I'm back with my second instalment from the soft underbelly of Manx Pop.
Following the success of debut lap. Slimming With Bigness, the Island's premier boy band - Slimpig, are in talks with sinister Über-svengali Simon Cowell. It is understood that the Prince of Drabness has already applied for trademarks on the boys nicknames - Ginger Pig, Scary Pig, Scally Pig, Fraggle Pig and RoosteR Pig. Expect the new liaison to be unveiled with the release of the New York Mining Disaster as a single in July. (Apparently all other Bee Gees songs have been used up.)
When Phil Reynolds takes a break from obsessively collating and archiving every second of music recorded on the Island since 1923, he unwinds with a relaxing round of golf with his friends Tarby, Brucie, Little Ronnie, and Iggy. Phil and his showbiz pals cut quite a dash at Douglas Corporation Golf Course with their matching mint green plus fours and panamas.
This week webmaster Declan has been reeling from the news that his phone is not quite as keen on alcohol as he is ....
The world of geeky computer nerds was rocked this week with the relevation that mysterious Onchan based Techno band Eight to Infinity are in fact cyborg robots created by reclusive teenage egghead Ean, for his GCSE Design Tech course, in addition they are very good at holding spices. The robots have alledgely broken their program and are making a solo album called "the Turing Test".
The social event of the week was the opening of live music venue the Office, amongst the stellar guests assembled were such Rock luminaries as Rick Wakeman, that fella with the tie who used to be in the Gasp, Teddy Kennedy and his lovely date, the bloke in the shoes, Joan Jett, and Mick Heggarty.
How do pop fans. Welcome to my new occasional column here at the Declan's World of Stuff internet family of sites. Lately, I've been crawling round the backpassages of the Manx Music Scene to bring you all the skeet from the groups. I've been hiding in the mud behind the psychic heeling tent at Beltane, I've been crawling through the sewers of the Trafalgar, and blending into the background at Offbeat to bring the tip-top knowledge of the your favourite local bands.
Everybody's favourite cartoon punks Suspect Package spent the weekend scouring the Island for narcoleptic bassist Cranch. It was only after several frantic calls to International Rescue, that he was discovered asleep at the back of Alan's van.
Happy-Go-Lucky pop tearaways Purged like nothing better after an evening frightening grannies than slipping on an old cardigan and battered pair of slippers, sticking Val Doonican on the gramophone and kicking back with a family size packet of Worther's Original.
Bootlegs of ovine larynxed Andy "the Gifted" Clarke's song "Why" have proved so popular in Uzbekistan that Andy has been booked to play the Tashkent National Stadium as part of the prestigious Nymphs and Shepherds Festival.
Top Manx performance artists, the Village Idiots, are rumoured to be members of a bizarre Baldrine cult that worships former Bastinardos frontman Raz as a God.
Curmudgoenly Roots Rockers, The Finks have hit out at suggestions that they maybe about to premiere an original song. Lead singer, Stef Joyce, hit out "Look I didn't get where I am today by being original." Rumours that where he is today is playing to a half full Iron Pier cannot be confirmed or denied.
The Isle of Man Department of Tourism have revealed that the following acts will be playing during TT fortnight...Clarence "Gatemouth" Henry, Phats and Small (not the original Small), Joe Dolice, the Gasp, the Mock Turtles, Twisted Sister, Bang Bang Machine, Hazel O'Connor, the Rah Band, and the Toy Dolls.