The Shoprite Car Park Path To Happiness


Love can begin in many a strange place – the grottiest nightclub in Douglas has been responsible for as many marriages as the grandest church. And significantly more little Brittneys and Brooklyns.

Terry and Mandy met whilst scavenging in the recycling bin at the back of Shoprite. They reached for a pristine copy of a fortnight old “Hello!” What a dilemna this created! Such a prize find couldn’t be split, but neither was prepared to relinquish the magazine. So they repaired to his flat to read it together.

Terry put on a Westlife tape and cracked open a bottle of Blue Nun. Now, I don’t know if it was the wine or the romantic music, or whether the tales of “the dream wedding of Boy Band Brian and Soap Star Leanne” and “Devine Davina show’s of her luxury lifestyle (and new love hunky James)”, but Mandy stayed the night.


In the morning when Terry and Mandy realised that, for the first time in their lives they hadn’t merely had sex but made love, they arranged to meet again over a back issue of “Heat” or “OK!”.


Against a backdrop of Footballer’s chic weddings and Dale Winton’s bijou town-house, a tender and beautiful romance was played out. Indeed following a modest pools win, I am happy to report that Terry and Mandy were married.


It was the fairy-tale wedding our Romeo and Juliet had always dreamed of. Picture rights were exclusively obtained by Manx Tails. The bride looked stunning in a virginal white frock with a discreet bluebird motif. The bridesmaid’s, including Mandy’s daughter Charlene, wore apricot with cream ruffles.

A 21 gun salute was performed by members of Foxdale Militia.


After a delightful reception, at the chic Clarridon Hotel, Terry whisked his bride away for a romantic weekend in a top two star hotel in Blackpool. After an idyllic honeymeen the couple took up residence in their palatial apartment on the fashionable Peel Road.